POLITICIAN:SERVING THE NATION. 0000006309 00000 n Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! So let me tell you something. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. The table is tilted folks. Oh boy. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. And so when finally all the facts come out and our subject seems quite guilty he employs that sublime use of the passive voice: POLITICIAN:MISTAKES WERE MADE. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. Vodafone Ad. (LAUGHS). George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. They own and control the corporations. But wheres the logic in that? 25l`|xs[e>L;}_}S +Fn-RWErk^7=fa,|~'RsiYK@"4W/:iVDrZWV)^:i\9KnwmVYi5v b^mfYN.[ T*gvIc"f=di^fE)SGO George Carlin: Dumb Americans. Well where do people think these politicians come from? x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. But social media is just a symptom of our narcissistic, attention-deficit culture. See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. Maybe something else sucks around here. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. I dont vote. George Carlin on Voting Transcript Now there's one thing you might have noticed i don't complain about: politicians. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. %PDF-1.3 As long he included one additional commandment: Genius is the ultimate source of music knowledge, created by scholars like you who share facts and insight about the songs and artists they love. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Its a big club, and. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". [5] And another one: Sure, here's a possible transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Let's talk about social media. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. Such a nice touch. The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . People just spewing their uninformed opinions and insults at each other. From Life Is Worth Losing. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. It's like the Wild West of the internet, but with more trolls. Do you? From people in all walks of life usually the person in question who has committed some unspeakable act. Something is wrong here. FUCK THEM. Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and share your thoughts and feelings in person. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). A friend is someone you can count on. endobj George Carlin - National Press Club May 19, 1999. Marc Allan: Oh, okay, good. A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. You, and I, are not in the big club. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? User Clip: Carlin Mocks Politicians' Language. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. 0000003180 00000 n I, on the other handwho did not votewho did not votewho, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with. Thats against their interests. Nobody cares. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. 183 21 [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. [wptabtitle]@Shoq[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=feed id=323150247956193281][/wptabcontent] Two reasons. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. Been here four and a half billion years. You know what they're interested in? Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. [FINAL NOTE: If you want to dig deeper into Carlins brilliant mind vis--vis comments on politicians and the doublespeak they are prone to use, check out The Consultation Institutes George Carlin on the language of politics. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. Web. But in war times they quickly become, our brave young fighting men and women stationed half way around the world in places whose name's they(POLITICIANS) can't pronounce, wandering if they will ever see their loved ones again. Youre just gunna wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans [leaders]. THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). And don't get me started on the selfies. Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc. I dont vote. 0000053233 00000 n endobj Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." The PEOPLE are fucked. Sure, there's some good stuff on there, but it's mostly just people filming themselves doing stupid things and hoping to go viral. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. 0000082419 00000 n ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET (LAUGHS). They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want: They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. George Carlin. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. ], Your email address will not be published. It's like we're all living in a never-ending episode of MTV Cribs. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: the public sucks, fuck hope. 01. Dog, Cat, Thinking. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. So, that I can continue my work in Government. It's all just noise. Difference. I have my ideas. They're a digital petting zoo. But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? Forget the politicians. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. endobj THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. That's because now he's feeling the heat and so as time passes and more evidence comes in he suddenly changes directions and tells us: POLITICIAN:WERE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS! TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. endobj Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin's routine about social media: "Social media. You got people walking around bumping into each other, looking down at their phones, tweeting, Instagramming, Facebooking, like they're all little paparazzi. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. 185 0 obj "No child left behind. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Nothing wrong with the planet. That's always a nice touch, American people. I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). People like to twist that around. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. Yeah the public sucks. Everybody says they suck. Comedian George Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure at 71, was known for an act featuring "seven dirty words" that became the focus of a Supreme Court case. In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). The transcripts I could find always sucked. Isnt it a bit ironic, though, that the audience is laughing at all this when, essentially, Carlin is saying to them, directly to their faces, that they are stupid? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All photographs on this website (unless otherwise indicated) were created by and are the property of Daniel R. Joder and may not be used for any purpose without permission. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. Everybodys at the mall, scratchin his ass, pickin his nose, takin his credit card out of his fanny pack and buyin a pair of sneakers with lights in them. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33, 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. You know what they want? We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. Likethe public. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. <> But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Update this biography This is not good work. 183 0 obj xref You don't. You have no choice. endobj This is the best we can do, folks. https://ad.style/. They own everything. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> Are these fucking people kidding me? See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. People like to twist that around, I know. Some parents deserve respect. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. OR: I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT. Fuck em! Trump Follower? Theyre not interested in that. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). They are irrelevant. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . It has to be the WHOLE THING. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' They own everything. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Read it first. endobj It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. And of course, they're all looking for that dopamine hit of getting likes and comments from people who agree with them. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.