And she kept it quiet all those years. This doctor had been so kind to us and good to us. Having two sets of parents and two full sets of siblings and cousins is kind of a practical headache. The fact is Mrs. Miller longed for Sue for her biological daughter ever since she realized the mistake back in 1951, but it seemed futile trying to convince her husband, Norbert. Dear Martha and Sue, have you ever suspected or been told that we took home the baby that belonged to Kay and Bob McDonald and they later took home the baby that belonged to us? I don't care whether my husband objected or not. Slowly, anger began to set in. I'm Ira Glass. My mom said, oh, well, you just take after great grandpa this year and so on. There is no gray area. When Switched at Birth premiered in 2011, it was the first TV series of its kind, introducing major characters who not only were deaf but were played by deaf actors, who spoke on the show using. All the girls were in the same room. It's from a mosquito bite. All the girls were in the same room. But she didn't call them right away. Miss Miller's husband, the Reverend Norbert Miller, was an evangelical preacher devoted to the church, and they were a bookish, serious bunch. How the truth changed two families' livesand how it didn't. Actually, my mother wanted to go to court and have my name legally changed back to Sue McDonald and have Sue's name changed. She got along famously with their son, Bob. He told her that he thought it was God's will that this had happened. It's a little late. In the Miller household. I was sure then that there had been a mix up. Were you afraid of Norburg at all? She teased the groom and handed Bob's older son a present for his baby. And it was then that I started thinking, oh, my gosh, you know, my life would have been so different. So then I just forgot about the whole thing. I think what we do is pretty much our own doing. The nurse weighed the baby and must have left her in the delivery room until after Kay's baby was born very soon after mine. Robert Mays' first wife Barbara died not long after when little Kimberly was just two years old. You know, I would I was just like, wow, you know, wow. She first sent the letter to Sue McDonald, the daughter she barely knew, and then waited almost two weeks before mailing the letter to Marti, the daughter she'd raised. She wanted to be a part of a big family. No, I didn't. The reason was pretty simple, actually. rudy's bbq beans recipe yoshiki hayashi gender this american life switched at birth transcript. Bay grew up in a wealthy family while Daphne, who lost her hearing as a child, was raised by a single mom in a working class neighborhood. And I really haven't, because there's no point. And, you know, because I wonder what's going to happen when my parents are gone. And I am 61 years old. And he was very angry at first with me. Marty calls Mrs. Miller once a week to check up on her, just like does now that the big family questions are mostly worked out. And you can see, they're just having so much fun and laughing together and just dancing away. So now we are both aware of what happened 43 years ago. He is an evangelical preacher, you know, he wants people to know Jesus Christ and that they would be saved. And and I'm really like that to. Her name's also Sue. No, we didn't argue about that. Sue is ours. I don't have any idea. While Bay and Daphne were supposed to be 15 at the time, Vanessa and Katie were 18 and 24, respectively. Act Seven: Saturday and Sunday, Gainesville and Coral Springs FL, Act Two: More Animals Eating Other Animals. When I first talked to Mrs. Miller about what had happened when Mary was born, she told me pretty much the same story she told in her letter, how she knew as soon as she got home and weighed the baby that the nurses had made a mistake. For this assignment, listen to the Prologue, Act 1, and Act 2 of the This American Life episode #360 called Switched at Birth. But, boy, it was really for me. 5 seasons available (103 episodes) Sixteen years ago, one mistake changed two families forever when two newborns were switched at birth. And so I kind of made a promise to myself that I would just never go down that road again, that I was just not going to go there. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. At last, Mrs. Miller felt free to act. And I'm thinking, how would I have survived with that kind of upbringing? You know, when she finally heard from Mrs. Miller, the mother she'd grown up with, not only did she get the letter, but Mrs. Miller had just been to the fiftieth anniversary party of the McDonald's, Marty's biological parents. All four women said things got very lonely for them. They decided that Ruth ought to have a look too. Over the years, the thought that she might be someone else's child festered in the back of his mind, and much later when she was in her mid 30s, she decided to get to the bottom of it. And then he told me that I looked like them. The family did all kinds of hobbies, painting and rock polishing and 3D photography. It was all pretty straightforward. And the feeling in their house was very different from the feeling in the Miller's house. But Sue was the girl they had brought up and they felt loyal to her protective. I mean, she that was right. Was there ever a time when you thought back and thought, I should have stood my ground more with him on that? I only let myself think about it one time. And she said, Oh, no, no. She says, I was pregnant and you are my child. I didn't have a doubt in my mind. And I you know, I wanted he had a band, I mean. 10. Neither Sue nor Marti blames Mrs. Miller for going along with her husband. Well, sure, I guess, yeah, a little bit of guilt, but it's not my it's not my fault. That was a hard thing to hear. Lovingly, your mom, Mary Kay Miller. And we hope you flourished in the McDonald household. It was confusing. I was just like, wow. People were definitely aware whenever both women were in the same room. She wrote that in a letter to Mrs. Miller eight years after she learned the truth. Jake Halpern is the reporter. And then he danced with my cousin. Over the years, Mrs. Miller would do or say things concerning the girls, things that just seemed strange to Kay. 7 Baby Girls Learn of Switched Fates as 56-Year-Old Grandmothers (1953) Via dailymail.co.uk In 1953, two baby girls were born on May 3 at the Pioneer Memorial Hospital in Heppner, Oregon. He did not want her to push me out of the family. She's also religious like Sue. And so I don't think that was too well received when I mentioned that. I thought it was just Rudy being Rudy, you know, he just has crazy ideas and he dreams these things up. Sue dismissed it as part of the whole sister thing, which she also thought was kind of weird. He explained things like why all those years ago, he refused to return to the hospital and switch back the babies. That's how Mrs. Miller kept track of Sue over the years. When Sue arrived, she slipped in quietly. And the family's relationship with Dr. Deathlok was no small thing, either. Almost 25 years to the day after the student protest at Gallaudet University began in 1988, ABC Family's 'Switched at Birth' features a storyline about a deaf student uprising in an episode . Yeah, so it's a birthday present. I remember talking to Mother about, you know, this is your blood daughter. Her mother ran a disciplined household, everyone had to work, she remembers washing and drying all the dishes. That's sort of spooked Marty, so she left it alone. There were a few years there. I don't care whether my husband objected or not, I. I feel like I should have made it a wrong into a right. And I don't think sue had that sense. And as Ruth and Faith saw it, it wasn't their place to mess in their parents' affairs, which is why when her husband, Rudy, blurted it out a few years later, Ruth was so shocked and Marty refused to believe it at that point. In fact, we were even weren't even sure we'd have another child, so of course, we were elated when I did get pregnant and and then to think that I didn't get to raise the one that I had wanted to so much and. I was a crazy woman who thought I had her girl. This American Life is a weekly public radio show, heard by 2.2 million people on more than 500 stations. It's pretty rare that Marti and Sue actually meet face to face. I love you both. Sometimes my mom thinks I'm a little fanatical. Hi, everybody, it's IRA Glass, and for this American Life's 25th anniversary, we are putting eight favorite episodes from over the years into our regular podcast Feed. Tact is in her strong suit. My sister Faith called and she was talking about the way her mother would talk to her, and I'm thinking how would I have survived with that kind of upbringing? They started talking on the phone a lot. Is my brother going to care to even see me anymore? Here she is. "I want you to know that I will accept whatever contact you choose to have with me, even if it's none at all. There wasn't much money around. And we had the same personality. She circled the names of people that were participating in the program like my one of my uncles on the birth side, Earl Gonzales. Here's Bob McDonald who remember, was having these great phone calls with his newfound sister. I don't think that they ever came to watch me cheer in a game. Sue now had four new sisters and two new brothers. I think you know that you will always be our daughter. So, no, I didn't because it was always just a rumor. And this was a bad decision, but he didn't realize what effect that can make. . This episode, Switched at birth, is the episode they name. It didn't bother me, because I couldn't see any merit to it. And in the room you were in, you mean that's who it was the first time I'd seen them talk to each other. I remember at the wedding when my nephew got married, my brother danced with everybody. The infants were accidentally switched, and went home with the wrong families. I talked to Norbert about it, but he did not want to disgrace our good Dr. Deslack. And I'm not one to borrow trouble. . As Martha grew, she did not look nor act like any other children. This episode, Switched at birth, is the episode they name. And he said, what would you do if I told you that they were your parents? She figured if she could simply get Kate a look at Marti Caywood figure things out, the evening just ended up being kind of baffling for everyone involved. As for Marty, she doesn't like to dwell on the notion that Sue might have been the one who lucked out. And so that's why I started sending them a copy of our Christmas letter. This American Life: Switched at Birth Ep. It's a comedy by David Sedaris, starring our own radio theater company, the Pinetree Gang. He's the creator of the new comic "Welcome to the New World-- The True Story of a Refugee Family from Syria," which runs weekly in the "New York Times.". 7/13 - This is the story of two baby girls who were given to the wrong mothers. I couldn't do anything. And he said, this is a nice little baby. It was a different way of living, one that she admires. Yeah, I wanted him to agree with me. That's all we can do. Like Sue, though, Marti stuck out in her family. And the other thing was that he really thought, what difference does it make? S1 E2 - American Gothic The parents navigate the new living situation; Daphne hangs out with Liam. In a pretty lighthearted household, she was nervous, studious, serious. Mrs. Miller says she worries for Marty and Sue about whether they'll ever truly get along. Yes. The one-hour teen and family drama series, Switched at Birth, which premiered on ABC Family on June 6, 2011 finally reversed that course (Lacob, 2011). My dad had this horrendous guilt, because he felt like it was all his fault that he should have believed my mother for all those years. In junior high, I remember my friend said to me, you must be adopted, because you do not look at all like your parents. Yeah, whatever. And Susan always had said to me, Mom, why didn't you have any more children after I was born? In fact, it was the exact opposite. Her historical fiction book, The Gilded Years, about the life of Vassar College's first African-American graduate, comes out June 7th. They have mutual acquaintances. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. Mary Miller is 96 now. Download Share a clip Transcript Owen Freeman Prologue And I said, would you have believed me? Later that same day, Sue drove to the McDonalds', to the parents she'd grown up with. Thanks. I love you both. She had both families wanting to make sure that she was included in their family. She always referred to the girls as sisters. She didn't question that. When Sue got married, for instance, the Millers gave her a trivett Norbert had made the card was signed from your other possible parents. I didn't get picked. Does the thought ever cross your mind, what if the switch hadn't been made? Switched at Birth. He thought she really dreamed this up in her head and. Fiction featuring this soap operaish plot :] flag. Rest, fluids, medication to lower the fever. It's all pretty straightforward. She was just tired of secrets. And my mother's like, what happened to my life? She was a delight to all of us. Before the letter arrived, the facts of Sue's life, it seemed pretty orderly. Well, when your husband said to you, this baby's cute, let's keep it. Switched at Birth. daniel kessler guitar style. And of course, I thought that was foolish. And is the reason because Marti brought something important to your family? And. Kay was angry that Mrs. Miller hadn't corrected things back in 1951, that Mrs. Miller had hijacked her life in this way. No, no, no. But that didn't seem so strange. Well, of course, they were really clamoring to get to know her. And he said, well, I wouldn't disgrace the doctor by telling him he gave us the wrong baby. And then they go right to do that. She didn't fit in. So I left Prairie du Chien and I was driving. He gives her a ride and immediately become friends. And now she wanted everyone's role to be clear. Mary Miller is 96 now, she lives by herself in the country, her house is filled with the remnants of her and Norbert's life together in the church. And whenever Marti comes to my hometown, she stays with my brother. The McDonalds are the light-haired ones from the letter. Florida Woman Who Was Switched at Birth Opens Up About Her Life Post-Scandal: 'I Couldn't Handle the Resentment' In 1989, Kimberly Mays became a media sensation when genetic tests revealed. That's Martha reading. They decided that Ruth ought to have a look to so the two girls cooked up a reconnaissance mission on one Sunday, they got their boyfriends to drive them 17 miles away to the McDonald's church in Prairie Dasheen. As years went by, when there were family events with everyone, Sue would get anxious if Marti was there too. Your service title . And then he danced with my cousin. But even she never divulged the secret to Bob or any of the McDonalds. My name is Bob McDonald. The other mother, Kay MacDonald, had no idea the two fathers in this story were not interviewed. I couldn't believe that Because I don't have that feeling about-- I don't think God punishes us in any way. Today on our show, we hear what happens when somebody takes your family and throws it up in the air like a deck of cards. Host Ira Glass introduces four characters: Kay McDonald, who raised a daughter named Sue, and Mary Miller, who raised a daughter named Marti. Blood tests were done with the Millers and they proved Mrs. Miller was right about the switch. This American Life. As a result, Marti got worried about one of the most basic facts of her life secondhand, all the while waiting to hear directly from her mother. She and Faith and Mary Lydia, the older girls, had sort of always known about the possibility that Marti wasn't their biological sister.