Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Steve Urkel: [opens the back door] Surprise. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Carl: Rough. [Waldo and Maxine are dancing to R&B music and professing their love for each other. He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Harriette Winslow: Oh no no no. So, I figured if I doubled the temperature, I could cook it in half the time. [Runs with Steve to confront Waldo and Weasel], [Eddie tries to flirt with a cute girl, unaware that Carl is behind him]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Why can't we share? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? You're standing on my finger! Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: As long as you're up, bring me a piece. Waldo: Sure you have. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. I'll teach you. Steve Urkel: Yes! In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. then removes his hand]. But I recognized him right away. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. It meant a lot to me. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight. Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Laura Lee Winslow: [crying] Steve why do you always say things like that? Actor Jaleel White remembers his starring role on the '90s hit sitcom "Family Matters." Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! My mom's the one who really messed up. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! [Laura has stuffed her bra with Eddie's socks], Steve Urkel: [entering] Hi gang! [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Harriette Winslow: Carl was nice enough to invite you into his game and you've been acting like a jackass. Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in? [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Does that about cover it? Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Have you taken leave of your senses? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. But I like myself, and that makes me cool. I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. And it's all my fault. What about it, Steve. You mother once tried bean bags. This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. Carl: This baby has a remote. And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! [the car breaks down. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. We're having big fun here. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [driving off] Would you relax, Steve? Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Laura, please. Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? Rachel Crawford: Exactly what were Eddie's instructions? Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings? It was my nickname in preschool! Mont gio sam eea!". Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. Jaleel White, the actor best known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, has launched his own cannabis brand - on the day enthusiasts around the globe enjoy a toke. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Carl Otis Winslow: I do not and keep your voice down the neighbors might hear you. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? Please, my little Rapunzel. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! [to self] WOW! It was right in your favorite spot. Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Stefan Urquelle: You can take a bus or an airplane. Where did you get the money for this? Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Steve Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Harriette Winslow: I am not! And we practiced for six minutes! Laura: For the last time, Steve. Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. When's the last time you slept? Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. She just slipped and I caught her. So, is it all right with you? Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Laura: Well, Steve, I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him attractive. I'm playing Boyd double or nothing. Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. Oh, yes it is! 2023. Carl Otis Winslow: Now honey, it's really ok Harriette Winslow: No it's not ok, Carl. Rachel Crawford: Oh. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Laura: This is just a model, right? Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Harriette: Better add zucchini to that shopping list. Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. Hey, wait a minute. It's a cool chamber. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". Get down from there! Harriette Winslow: You most certainly do. Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. You're making me blush. First of all, this is not a real date. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. [Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]. Bushwhacker Luke: Me and me brother, we hate cops! Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . He's having the same discussion with his father. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? There's no justification for this behavior! Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! Look, Steve. Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Harriette Winslow: I know. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. That wasn't a rock video. Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? Carl, Eddie: [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE! Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? Cassie Lynn: Try me. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll tell you what son, why not give me cash for Christmas. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. I was kickin' butt. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. When's it going to end? 5. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. I can't breathe! Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Steve Urkel: We met once. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cornelius Eugene Urkel, you have better find a good excuse to leave town soon. Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. You have the right to have an attorney present. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: How did she die? Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? Carl Otis Winslow: It's full, Harriet! [Comes in the lving room with Mother Winslow as Eddie is taking his frustrations out on his sack of dirty laundry because Carl has just taken Waldo to the Chicago Bulls game instead of him]. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Laura Lee Winslow: How fast are we going now? [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. Wha? I'm going to give you an 'A'. Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. I wouldn't know what to charge. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Harriette: Don't even think like that. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement.